The Golden Loophole Awards Are Canceled—Because Why Bother?

The Golden Loophole Award is dead.  Not postponed. Not rebranded. Dead.

For years, it was the most anticipated event in corporate finance, where the biggest names in tech—Amazon, Google, Apple, and X—competed to see who could dodge the most taxes while still technically following the law. It was a spectacle. A game of intellectual parkour. A place where accountants, lobbyists, and lawyers all came together in an elite, underground tournament to prove who could outmaneuver the IRS without breaking a single rule.

But now?  Now, it’s pointless. Trump’s back in office, and the whole charade has been deemed unnecessary. Why leap through flaming hoops when the government just lowers the bar to the ground and rolls out a red carpet?

A Tradition Dies in Broad Daylight

For years, the Golden Loophole Award celebrated the greatest tax-avoidance feats ever pulled off:

• Amazon’s Infinite Deduction Loop – Where billions in profit magically became operating losses by the time they reached an accountant’s desk.
• Google’s Double Irish with a Dutch Sandwich – A bureaucratic gymnastics routine so complex it required three continents to pull off.
• Apple’s iTax Shuffle – A masterful trick where money legally existed nowhere at all.
• X’s Vanishing Revenue Act – A breathtaking performance where the company somehow always owed less tax than it did the year before, despite supposedly making money. (The SEC is still confused.)

And now? They don’t even need to try.

The tax rate is lower. The incentives are bigger. The IRS is underfunded to the point of irrelevance. And billionaires no longer have to pretend to hide their money in the Bahamas when they can just tell the government, “Nah, we’re good.”

Amazon’s tax department held a retirement party.
Google’s accountants started learning guitar.
Apple’s finance team is staring at blank spreadsheets, wondering what they’re even supposed to do anymore.

And over at X, Elon Musk just shrugged and tweeted, “We win. GG.”

No need for tricks. No need for loopholes. No need for the game at all.

The Golden Loophole Award is dead.

And the IRS?

They weren’t even invited to the funeral.