Things Are Still on Fire, and Politicians Still Exist
In a plot twist no one saw coming (except everyone), former central banker Mark Carney has been elected as Canada's...
Month: June 2025
Trump Has United the World… Against Us
In a masterstroke of international diplomacy, President Donald Trump has achieved what no leader before him could: uniting the global...
Next Week’s News: Americans Celebrate ‘Free Money’ Day and more…
Here's a round up of next week's news after the mnss this week's news makes. In Government (or whatever it...
Russia Released Mark Vodel—Here’s What We Might Have Given Up
Mark Vodel is back on American soil and all Americans should be happy about that. And according to Donald Trump,...
The Nostalgia President: Powering Up the Past
In a bold move to transport America back to its "glorious" past, President Trump has embarked on a crusade to...
Letters – Banned books, Canadian Tariffs
Dear Krotchett, I live in Texas, and our school board just banned another batch of books—mostly ones about race, gender,...
MAGA Mao: How Trump’s 2025 Crackdowns Echo China’s Dark Past
The Cultural Revolution—a ten-year joyride through ideological fanaticism, political purges, and the kind of paranoia that makes tinfoil hats look...
Young People Ruin Everything
I was a young person once. I don’t remember many details. It didn’t last long, youth, that is. I don’t...
Elon Musk Reinvents Government Jobs: Weekly Survival Reports Now Required
Elon Musk, now czar of the Department of Grandstanding and Evasion (DOGE), has introduced a thrilling new workplace policy: federal...
An Asteroid: The One Event That Might Actually Shut Up Fake News
Good news, folks! A city-sized asteroid might smack Earth in 2032, and if we're lucky, it'll spare us from yet...
Trump Declares High-Speed Internet Racist: A New Low in Digital Delusion
Just when you thought we’d plumbed the last inch of the dumbwell, Trump took out his golden shovel and kept...
Letters – Musks implants, political donations
Letter: Dear Krotchett, What do you think about Elon Musk’s latest project to implant chips in our brains? Should I...