Buying Back America: The Commitee to Bribe the President
Fellow citizens, global allies, and anyone within Wi-Fi range of this urgent plea, it’s time we face the facts. Our...
political satire
The Krotchett MAGA Dictionary: A New Political Lexicon
Welcome to the Krotchett MAGA Dictionary, the definitive guide to the Trumpian transformation of political language. In this brave new...
Either Evil or Idiot: Trump’s Sunday Morning Confession
Well, well, well. This past weekend, on what was once a respectable Sunday morning news magazine, Donald J. Trump—former President,...
Government Websites Just Got Smarter – By Removing Everything
The good old days of government websites—bloated with expert opinions, pesky facts, and those annoying "updates" cluttering up the place....
Stephen Miller’s Bold Plan: Deport First, Ask Questions Never
Stephen Miller—the man who never met a civil liberty he didn't want to strangle with his bare hands. In his...
Trump Fires Nuclear Watchdogs, Courts Face Eviction, Satire Becomes Real
Trump Administration’s Nuclear Hide-and-Seek (Krotchett.com) In an administrative blunder so large it could be measured in megatons, Trump’s team “accidentally”...
The Art of the Raw Deal: A Retrospective on Economic Self-Sabotage
Way back in history, there once was a man—let's call him The Tariff Whisperer. He had a flair for flamboyant...
Former USDA Official Trades Home for Eggs
(Krotchett) In a story emblematic of the economic turbulence plaguing the country, a former USDA employee, recently laid off during...
Customs, Cartels & Clueless Policies: Why the Drugs Keep Coming
So let me get this straight—President Trump, in his glorious second term, is still wagging his stubby finger at Mexico...
Elon Musk Reinvents Government Jobs: Weekly Survival Reports Now Required
Elon Musk, now czar of the Department of Grandstanding and Evasion (DOGE), has introduced a thrilling new workplace policy: federal...
How to Crash an Economy and Start a Government Thrift Store
Welcome back to another edition of "Next Week's News," where we peer into the crystal ball of current events with...
An Asteroid: The One Event That Might Actually Shut Up Fake News
Good news, folks! A city-sized asteroid might smack Earth in 2032, and if we're lucky, it'll spare us from yet...
