From Red Hats to Red Lights: Why No One Follows Rules Anymore

Alright, I did my research. I took a good long look around this cracked funhouse mirror we call the United States of America in the year 2025. And you know what I found?

We are no longer a society. We are a disorganized cage match sponsored by Monster Energy and vaguely racist Facebook groups.

We’ve got a MAGA-fueled administration in power that treats the Constitution like a Denny’s placemat. You can color on it, spill ketchup, maybe fold it into a paper airplane and throw it at the judiciary, but God forbid you read it.

Empathy? That got defunded sometime last fall in favor of a program called “Operation Bootstraps,” which mostly involves yelling at poor people from trucks. Basic human dignity is now seen as a liberal luxury. The national motto has gone from “E Pluribus Unum” to “Screw You, Got Mine.”

And it’s not just the government. No, the rot goes all the way down to the street level.

Crosswalks? Optional. Apparently, if you’re in a hurry to vape outside your job at the Dollar General, traffic laws are just a suggestion. Pedestrians now walk into the road with the confidence of medieval knights in full armor. Except instead of armor, it’s pajama pants and a Bluetooth speaker blaring Kid Rock.

Children? They’ve evolved from “seen and not heard” to “heard, seen, and flipping you off from a moving bicycle.” I asked a kid to stop kicking my mailbox and he called me a “boomer NPC” and suggested I “touch grass.” I’d touch grass if they’d stop peeing on my lawn.

And shoplifting? That’s practically a side hustle now. People walk out of stores like it’s the end of The Price Is Right, waving their arms and grinning while corporate security shrugs and files a report in the trash.

But here’s the punchline: most of this garbage behavior isn’t technically illegal. It’s just a big, steaming pile of unpleasant. There are no laws against being a selfish jerk with the social awareness of a woodchuck on bath salts. Which is why so many people are excelling at it.

So how do we fix it? Honestly, I don’t know if we can. This country has the collective impulse control of a toddler on Red Bull. We’ve built an entire culture around being proud of not knowing anything and angry about everything.

You ask people to read, and they say, “I do my own research,” which turns out to mean binge-watching 14 hours of ragebait on Rumble while ignoring the fact-check pop-ups like they’re pop-up ads for male enhancement pills. (Also a growth industry, pun intended.)

Can America come back from this?

Sure. Just as soon as we relearn how to say “thank you,” stop treating kindness like a communist plot, and maybe make it socially unacceptable to post your fast-food tantrum on TikTok.

But until then? Buckle up. Smile politely while someone cuts you off, flips you off, and probably films themselves doing it for clout.

Me? I’ll be here, on my porch, yelling at clouds and updating my will to include the phrase “I told you so.”