How to Crash an Economy and Start a Government Thrift Store
Welcome back to another edition of "Next Week's News," where we peer into the crystal ball of current events with...
Next Weeks News
Things Are Still on Fire, and Politicians Still Exist
In a plot twist no one saw coming (except everyone), former central banker Mark Carney has been elected as Canada's...
The Golden Loophole Awards Are Canceled—Because Why Bother?
The Golden Loophole Award is dead. Not postponed. Not rebranded. Dead. For years, it was the most anticipated event in...
Right-Wing Circus: Trump’s Ukraine Blunder and America’s Hate Group Problem
Trump and Vance's Diplomatic Debacle In a display of unparalleled diplomatic prowess, President Trump and Vice President J.D. Vance managed...
Elon Musk Reinvents Government Jobs: Weekly Survival Reports Now Required
Elon Musk, now czar of the Department of Grandstanding and Evasion (DOGE), has introduced a thrilling new workplace policy: federal...
An Asteroid: The One Event That Might Actually Shut Up Fake News
Good news, folks! A city-sized asteroid might smack Earth in 2032, and if we're lucky, it'll spare us from yet...
