Profanity Fatigue: When the F-Word Just Isn’t Enough
Millennials and Gen Z types may have thought they invented the F word along with a variety of other tawdry adjectives and nouns that spew from their collective mouths faster than stale warm beer. But it wasn’t long ago that vulgar language was reserved for the rare occasion of intensely accentuating a point in intimate conversation or reluctantly verbalizing a display of extreme exasperation.
Over the last few years, the F-word and its cousins have taken on a life of their own, and what was intended to shock and surprise, no longer warrants the attention of even lowly exclamation point. That being said, it seems to me, its time to create a whole new batch of replacement swear words, or at the very least, resurrect a few that the young among us never even knew existed.
Butthole and its various vulgar versions, have been around for quiet awhile. Usually reserved for the occasional dickhead or dummass one might encounter. For example, the idiot that pulls into the parking space you’ve been waiting 10 minutes for, and knows you’ve been waiting, but pulls in any way, is in fact correctly defined as an a-hole. Fine. But since this is the 21st century, can’t we move on from a-hole and dickhead? What’s if the dickhead is more than an a-hole? How about Dillberry or Fart Catcher? Both worked wonders in Thomas Jefferson’s day.
Wagtail, Mutton-shunter, and Hedgecreeper were derogatory words used to describe women of a certain profession in the 19th century. In the twentieth century, folks called them whores, and a smidgen more respectfully, prostitutes, and now sex workers, which frankly seems to me would take the fun out of it. Any woman that disagreed with a man was called the’B’ word, which, when thought out, makes some kind of sense, since most of the men that would use such a term were dickheads. Going forward, it seems to me that we should simply disregard any gender assignment altogether. In the past, whether that person may have been thought of as a ‘B’ or a dickhead, most of us should now agree that the rapscallion of either gender should now be referred to simply as a poop-face or dillberry.
What might be puzzling to a 10-year-old boy or girl discovering vulgarity for the first time, is why our most vulgar terms are extracted from our most important (and revered) body parts and functions? The C-word for example, a disgusting metaphor for that portion of a woman’s body where human life begins. And what about farting and puking, and the venerable a-hole or butt – aren’t they natural components of nutrition for nearly all mammals and birds?
I mean, what kind of fart-faced, jollacking, mutton shunter son of a dillberry, poo-for-brains wanker thought this BS up? So, has obscenity finally run its course? Who the f— cares.
