Customs, Cartels & Clueless Policies: Why the Drugs Keep Coming

So let me get this straight—President Trump, in his glorious second term, is still wagging his stubby finger at Mexico and Canada for America’s drug problem? I suppose it’s easier than admitting that the real issue is our own customs enforcement, which, last time I checked, is staffed by our people, operating under our policies, and guarding our borders. But sure, let’s pretend it’s all happening because those sneaky Canadians are stuffing fentanyl into barrels of maple syrup.

Let’s talk about the de minimis rule, because that’s where things get real interesting. This little gem allows any package under $800 to waltz into the country duty-free and largely inspection-free. It was originally designed to help move goods more efficiently, because heaven forbid Amazon Prime orders get delayed. But guess who else loves this loophole? Drug traffickers. Turns out you can cram a lot of fentanyl into a package marked “Children’s Toys” and no one bats an eye. Meanwhile, if you, an honest citizen, dare to bring an extra bottle of wine back from your vacation, you’ll get the full government shakedown.

To Trump’s credit, he did try to shut down this loophole. But the e-commerce giants and their lobbyists squealed louder than a stuck pig, and suddenly—poof!—his executive order was rescinded. Turns out “America First” takes a backseat to “Profits First.” So now, thanks to a mix of corporate greed and bureaucratic spinelessness, the floodgates remain wide open.

And then there’s our customs inspections. Trucks, planes, trains, and cars all have to go through checkpoints, yet millions of dollars worth of drugs are still slipping through. We’re talking about a system where 90% of the fentanyl entering the U.S. comes through legal ports of entry—not from some guy hopping the Rio Grande with a backpack. Just recently, a shipment of methamphetamine was found hidden in jalapeños and cucumbers. (Nice try, cartels. But if you really wanted to get through undetected, you should’ve hidden it in a shipment of MAGA hats.)

So, let’s be real. Blaming Mexico and Canada is political theater. The real show is happening right here at our borders, under our noses, while our inspectors miss drugs but somehow manage to confiscate your grandmother’s knitting needles at TSA. And just when you thought it couldn’t get worse, along comes Musk’s Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE)—because nothing says “serious governance” like a meme coin reference. In its infinite wisdom, DOGE has been busy slashing budgets for customs enforcement, border security tech, and drug interdiction programs, all in the name of “trimming the fat.” Because, obviously, the best way to stop drug traffickers is to fire the people catching them. Maybe the cartels should start paying import fees in Dogecoin—at this rate, they’ll be able to write their shipments off as “charitable donations.” If anyone in this administration can explain how less enforcement leads to less drug trafficking, I’ll be right here, waiting—just like those customs agents who no longer have the staff to check incoming shipments.