Intolerance Fatigue: Why Even Our Grudges Need a Break
The other day, I was strolling through the park, doing my usual laps as a part of my attempt to...
Amazon Prime’s Newest Perk: Life-Saving Delivery Driver
Well, folks, it finally happened. Amazon’s obsessive, dystopian efficiency has created a delivery driver so dedicated that she doesn’t just...
Putin’s Ceasefire Demands: Donuts, Drones, and a Date with Melania
Ladies and gentlemen, truth seekers and skeptics alike, today we find ourselves in yet another episode of "History Writes Itself,...
Letsile Tebogo, Gold Medalist Saves Lives – Now Everyone Else Looks Lazy
"One Good Thing" is Krotchett’s reluctant nod to humanity’s occasional decency—a brief, begrudging acknowledgment that, despite overwhelming evidence to the...
Next Weeks News – Trumph’s Inauguration, iPhone’s Invisibility Mode and Competitive Ironing
With all of America’s billionaires putting their money into Trumps inauguration and buy-off initiatives, there's not a lot of money...
The Economic Perspective of the Young and the Clueless
Youth—the golden years of terrible economic decisions. Back in my day, we called it “being broke.” Now they call it...
The All-Volunteer School System
(When I first wrote this article a couple of years ago, it seemed like good old far-fetched satire, now in...
Letters – Banned books, Canadian Tariffs
Dear Krotchett, I live in Texas, and our school board just banned another batch of books—mostly ones about race, gender,...
The Golden Loophole Awards Are Canceled—Because Why Bother?
The Golden Loophole Award is dead. Not postponed. Not rebranded. Dead. For years, it was the most anticipated event in...
Elon Musk Reinvents Government Jobs: Weekly Survival Reports Now Required
Elon Musk, now czar of the Department of Grandstanding and Evasion (DOGE), has introduced a thrilling new workplace policy: federal...
An Asteroid: The One Event That Might Actually Shut Up Fake News
Good news, folks! A city-sized asteroid might smack Earth in 2032, and if we're lucky, it'll spare us from yet...
Customs, Cartels & Clueless Policies: Why the Drugs Keep Coming
So let me get this straight—President Trump, in his glorious second term, is still wagging his stubby finger at Mexico...